I Am Jack’s Incredible Physical Strength

I Am Jack’s Incredible Physical Strength

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I believe that my 7 month old son can beat me up.

Not that he would, but I think he does possess the physical strength necessary to do so.  I mean, clearly I’m more mobile than him.  But, let’s be honest here, not by much.  I’ve got the height advantage, but is that truly an advantage when you think about it?  I’ve seen him rip a velcro bib from his neck with one hand, as I pretend to be annoyed and make a “Oh, no you don’t” face.  What I’m really thinking is “I took that same bib off the other day using both my hands and more leverage than he’s capable of and I’m pretty sure I let out a light sigh of weakness.”  I’ve seen him push himself from off my shoulder, with absolutely no regard for the force of gravity and relying only on the “so-far so-good” notion that I will catch him.  These are risks that even seasoned bungee jumpers, or guys who climb Everest do not dare take.  My son takes these risks, then looks up at me with a 2 tooth grin of ultimate satisfaction.

Before anybody comes to the conclusion that I actually ponder the concept of getting into a fight with my infant son or that I am in any way physically intimidate by him, let me quell any remaining suspicion:  I ABSOLUTELY do and I ABSOLUTELY am.  You should be too!

If anything I consider it to be a sign of ultimate respect towards Jack.  I, a 33 year old man weighing in just a shade (but not a wide shade) under 235, find myself marveled at the might and raw power that my son is capable of.  He’s at this amazing period of his development where the baby is starting to leave and the little kid is slowly emerging.  In those early few months there are so many things you’re worried about and so many things that you hope for them.  From the very beginning I knew with Jack that there was one ideal I wanted him to strive for.  I wanted him to be strong.

Am I talking about more than just physicality?  Of course, but in a way I feel they go hand in hand.  I don’t believe that one needs to be physically capable of  benchpressing 200 lbs in order to have strength of character, heart or mind.  Absolutely not.  Though I do equally respect the ethic that brings an individual to all of those traits.  Every achievement takes strength, and for a 7 month old that cannot yet adequately display his character, his true emotions or his wisdom I think that just the basic biological nature of simply being naturally strong goes a long way.

Jack is strong.  He’s already beating me at certain battles.  The other day, I popped Jack on the changing table in order to get rid of what seemed like a diaper of biblical proportions.  I opened his diaper and the heaven’s rained hellfire down upon my senses.  As I went to pull it back, Jack’s tiny little left hand grabbed the elastic waistband on it…and he WASN’T letting go.  So I was faced with a few options:

1.  Pull the diaper away by force and risk a snowfall of infant excrement that would have ruined everyone’s afternoon

2.  Attempt to coax, either by being stern or being cuddly, Jack into letting the diaper go

3.  Surrender and see what Jack’s end-game was for grabbing this diaper.

I took a chance.  I looked down at this tiny mirror image of myself, who then smiled up at me, and I said “Okay, Bub, you win this one.” as I let go of the diaper.  Still smiling Jack let out his favorite word of the moment:


And he let go of the diaper too.

I think he knew that he had just beaten me.

NOTE:  There are many theories as to who or what “Gah-Hee” is.  My favorite one is that he once saw an episode of The Garry Shandling Show and keeps calling out “GARRY!” in vain hope that show will somehow make it back on the air.  Ah, the dreams of a baby.

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