Yeah. This actually happened.
You do stupid things sometimes, but there is little more stupid than shaving your head in an attempt to symbolically emulate your newborn son for the sake of his feelings. The bottom line is he doesn’t really care. He’s biologically incapable of empathy or sympathy or any of the popular “athy”s.
But you’re not. And in the end anything that you’re doing to endear yourself to your child at this stage is as much for your benefit as it is for their’s. So, fuck it. Shave your head if it makes you feel even a little bit closer to your son or daughter. They are not the only one’s whose happiness is paramount. As all of this is going on you also now have to focus on keeping yourselves happy as well.
Allison and I took Jack for his 6 month Doctor check up. The Doctor visit could be summed up in three words: Tall. Strong. Healthy. So all good news. The bad news? He’s still got to get his next series of vaccination shots. Oof. The last 2 times he did really well, but this is a very different Jack. He’s much more of an “actual person” now. So we went through the same process we’d gone through before. Jack gets his shots, but since he’s “Tall. Strong. Healthy.” he only cries about as much as his Mom would at the tiny needle and he’s fine. So we depart and on the ride home decide to stop at a cool, little frozen yogurt place in our old neighborhood.
I ran in and got 2 large cups…one of them (mine) over flowing with Fruity Pebbles as a topping and the two of us sat in the car and ate our delicious desert in as first world a manner as we possibly could. I don’t think either of us was conscious of what we were actually doing until Jack let out the slightest whisper of a cry from the backseat. He did so right about the time I said “We should always stop for frozen yogurt after the pediatrician.” Allison started to hysterically laugh and I looked over wondering why I was not in on the joke. She pointed to the back seat and then to her desert and I realized. She blurted out through her Reese’s Peanut Butter Yogurt: “And HE’S the one who got shots!”
So here we were. Two grown-ass people who prided themselves on being “good parents” sitting in the car eating a delicious treat that our son could and should not ingest oblivious to the fact that in a few years time we’d be doing this for him and not for ourselves. We had taken ourselves out for ice cream. And upon the realization that we were rewarding ourselves for the pain endured by our “Tall. Strong. Healthy.” son my gorgeous wife could do nothing but laugh. I love her for this as much as I love her for anything else.
So, fuck it. Shave your head if it makes you feel better.