I Am Jack’s Healthy Sense of Self

I Am Jack’s Healthy Sense of Self

39bOk, so I grew up in a decent part of north-east New Jersey.  My family had a pool and there were always a ton of kids over that probably wouldn’t otherwise be there.  It was a vital social component of my early childhood and, later, my girl-hungry teenage years.  For quite some time, I was THAT dude.  I was the kid who didn’t want to take his shirt off in the pool.

It’s a look that is nearly impossible to pull off.  I’d try so hard to make it seem like it made sense.  I was the crazy guy who’d fall in with his clothes still on.  I’d get some one to push me in and it’s be (in my head) “Oh, look at me, I’m so crazy and free-spirited.  Well, might as well just keep my shirt on for the next few hours.”

The truth is, obviously, I had been ashamed of my physical appearance for quite some time.  I always sort of have been.  Even during my brief stint as a “pretty boy” in the summer of 2001.  I would fake being full of myself, but never felt comfortable in my own skin.  By 2010, I was pushing 280 and promised myself I wouldn’t be fat at my wedding.  I didn’t keep that promise, nor did I realize that it’s be another 3 years and 10 pounds before I’d wake up at all.

Who is George?  He used to be the guy who never cared enough to take care of himself.  The guy who, if he was healthy on the outside he was still a wreck on the inside and likely only looking healthy for the wrong reasons.  He’s the guy who needed to realize he was worth loving himself.

This is George and Allison on our honeymoon in Bora Bora in 2011, with me clocking in at a case of beer a day 280lbs.  We had a good time.  We smiled a lot and did things we may never do in our life again.

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So, who is George?  This is me now, with my nearly 2 year old son, Jack in Central Park, New York.

10703820_10152671131617920_8603438198180856816_nI have never felt THIS GOOD in all my life and I think that reflects in my appearance.  My role as Jack’s father has taken on such a different dimension this past year.  Going from the person that stuffs food into him to keep him alive, to the caregiver that is responsible for helping maintain the team that will shape him in many aspects of his personality.  Some of it is already set.  Some of it is being molded by us daily.

Jack is tall.  He’s strong.  And he is SO damn beautiful.  I feel that as long as I be the example in his life, that I show him that physical, mental and spiritual maintenance are all vital components to human well-being, that the rest will start to fall into place.