Some one once told me that it’s the curse of a parent to project your own insecurities onto your child. This is a concept that, while I’ve gotten a lot better, I still grapple with at times. The way I run my life and the relationship with my wife and my son are entirely different. A bright spotlight shined on the shadow that once was as little as nine months ago. Every day as I get older I find I’m relinquishing a little bit more control over the uncontrollable. It’s painful, but all growth is.
Confronted with this lack of control comes a very basic understanding, for me, of what it means to be a parent and all that I can truly do for my son. It’s as simple as just this:
That is TRULY all that I can do. Yes, that entails many things, but at the basic core of it all the only thing that I can really make certain of is that Jack is loved. He is. I do. I love him so much it makes any other notion of love in my life pale in comparison. I see this little human being that was given to me and an amazing woman and I see the entirety of all human potential. All the confident wishes of every parent back to the beginning of time shine in his eyes and I know serenity when he smiles. I know peace when he laughs. I know trust when he grasps my hand to walk down a rocky path. I know love when he rests his tired head on my shoulder.
There are times where I wonder what this webcomic is all about. Is it necessary? Is it exploitative of my son? Is it vanity? Is it even really any entertaining?
I usually quiet these chattering monkeys in my head with the idea that it is, at the very least, catharsis for myself. An attempt to step out of my own life and giggle at the myself as a spectator. It’s a creative form of meditation for me. Then there are times where my hope is that it will be a cherished part of Jack’s future. A scrap book of who he was and who I was at this point in our lives. My ideal is that I’m actually helping other parents and not just other Stay At Home Dads. That, through the shared recognition of the uncontrollable insanity, we can all stop taking things so seriously and just enjoy the ride.
Thanks for reading. Hope you are enjoying the ride. Be well.